Hello. I must start off by warning you that the words on this page are nothing but an attempt to organize and understand the millions of thoughts that seem to be bouncing around my head every second. They are my opinions, my experiences, and my ideas, and I promise nothing of the value they might have to you. Someday, hundreds of years from now, some average teenage girl like myself might find these and find someone to identify with, but until then, the words might go unread.
Today I discovered something about myself that more than breaks my heart. I have in recent times valued the idea of living life with your actions more than your words, and last night it was pointed out to me that I've been living exactly the opposite. Within the same week, I completely back-stabbed some of my closest friends and royally failed in showing the love of my life exactly how much he means to me. It brought to my attention how insufficient I am in running my own life.
Chris is leaving for Atlanta in 9 days, after which my communication with him will be completely shut off. Yes, after a year of dating we are choosing to break up because of the ministry program he's going to attend. It's a difficult thing to do, but I have faith that if our relationship is meant to be then when he comes back we will make it work. The worst thing I can do now is let him leave with doubts about us.
Something has got to give. I am determined now, for the sake of my love and my friendships, that I'm going to start living the way that shows the desires of my heart. I won't be overcome by my selfishness, and I won't get too caught up in my own problems to let my love for others show through. I understand now what I must do.
Today I discovered something about myself that more than breaks my heart. I have in recent times valued the idea of living life with your actions more than your words, and last night it was pointed out to me that I've been living exactly the opposite. Within the same week, I completely back-stabbed some of my closest friends and royally failed in showing the love of my life exactly how much he means to me. It brought to my attention how insufficient I am in running my own life.
Chris is leaving for Atlanta in 9 days, after which my communication with him will be completely shut off. Yes, after a year of dating we are choosing to break up because of the ministry program he's going to attend. It's a difficult thing to do, but I have faith that if our relationship is meant to be then when he comes back we will make it work. The worst thing I can do now is let him leave with doubts about us.
Something has got to give. I am determined now, for the sake of my love and my friendships, that I'm going to start living the way that shows the desires of my heart. I won't be overcome by my selfishness, and I won't get too caught up in my own problems to let my love for others show through. I understand now what I must do.
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