I sincerely wish I could just ignore all the pressure that's building up on me. I have so much to do. There are two major components of IB that I haven't completed yet. On top of not having those done, I'm struggling to keep my grades above D's. I need help, but I'm not sure who to ask. Obviously I've turned to God, but the only thing He can do for me is give me strength. I know exactly what needs to be done, there's just so much of it that I don't even know where to start. I have no idea who to talk to for help about this. My mom can't help me. My guidance councelor, maybe. But this seems like something I have to get done on my own, just like everyone else did. There's just so much pressure. I need a release. I need to see some form of progress. I need some sort of encouragement. I just don't know where to look. I need someone to tell me that I'm not a failure, even though my position says I am. Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost. Just because I'm breaking doesn't mean I'm broken. And it doesn't mean I'll break. I keep telling myself to take one step at a time. I keep telling myself all these things but I can't do this alone. I need someone with me. I need someone to help me through this. I'm too busy giving myself to my passion for people that I've been ignoring the one part of my life where I need help.
I need...
A miracle.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I know something isn't right, and I don't know how to get things where they need to be.
But I do know that there is no hole too deep that God can't pull me out of it.
There's nowhere I can be that isn't where I'm supposed to be.
God has plans to prosper me, not to harm me.
God intends for me to succeed.
He plans for me to pull through this on top.
I'll get through it, no doubt, but how much of my future will be cut short because of my failures?
It doesn't matter.
My future is in God's hands.
My dreams depend on my finishing this Biology lab report tonight.
And somehow finishing the Extended Essay that was due earlier this year.
And completing the reflections on the community service hours that I'm behind on.
God has a way for me to do all of that.
I know He does.
I just need help finding it.
Help?
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3 comments:
GO NIANA GO! RAH RAH RE! remember that!!
ok now serious sofie says:: prioritize. sometimes you have to say no on the things you love in order to get to where you can have it freely without as a great a consequence. Somtiems you have to put the passion on hold you know? If God really had it set out for you, he will help you in pursuing it and continuing with it. Its OK to say no, I need to focus on this, even though I don't won't to. Believe me, I have to go through it all the time. Sometimes I have to say no to what I live for in order to do what keeps me afloat and thus live in. In turn, God rewards and gives you more than what you sought with your heart. Remember, he knows the desires of your heart.
I know you can do it.
If anything, you have been doing such a better job this semester in turning in the assignments that are due when asked since this quarter has started. It's a start!
You have the right mind set hun. and you are right, the only thing that you can do right now is stick to it. God is giving you strength. it is up to you alone to push yourself. The reason I am not holding your hand and pushing you every step of the way is because I cant hold your hand while you write your papers, you get me? It's up to you and your determination. If I could give you a piece of determination from my innerness, I would. But alas I cant. YOu gots to find it within yourself. I know that you can and will accomplish it all by yourself in God's grace and you will only have God and yourself to thank. and that is all you need.
Trust that you do have people who believe in you. If there wasnt anyone, you really think you'd still be in IB?
I would love to help... In anyway necessary.
I... Wouldn't know how to contact you, but... For what it is worth:
I'm here for you.
I can't even begin to say how much I appreciate you, Sofie. You're always there to tell me exactly what I need to hear. You convict me and encourage me all at the same time. Thank you so much for everything.
And as for you, Helpful in Harlem, thanks for your support as well.
:)
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